9 to 5

A terriors work iz never done. Mi grandhumins gave mi a job. I'm now in the reel estate bizness.

An importint thing I do iz to keep out the mailman, but he doezn't get it, and keeps comin. He also so tries too bribe mi, but hiz treets are only so-so. Mi grandhuman butters them and then they are OK.

Peddi-what?!

If mi humin gits anee smart ideeas, shi'll bee sorri. I sau thiz on Slate. I'm with the evil kat on this one.

Sad, sad dogg

Mi humin sent mi this video that anothr humin sent her. I ask you: Iz this pathetik or what? Mi humin used to tri to get mi to chase balls. Pluleeze. If you wanted the ball so bad, whi did you throw it away in the frist place?

long driv homee

Mi humin, mi puppi, and i went to visit an old frend ov ourz. Shee lives a long way from us, and the driv homee alwayz makes mi sleepy. Good thing i didn't hav to drive this time.